To Fly or Not to Fly - Serenity Now Damn It!

Southcoast, MA – This posting requires the classic Ricky Ricardo request: Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!

I promise to do my best. In one the episodes of the iconic sitcom – Seinfeld – one of the neurotic characters, George Costanza’s father would implore a higher power for serenity now. Who doesn’t want serenity? Serenity is something we all strive for. We may even find the need, at times, to pray for it. When we do, there’s even a special prayer we can employ: The Serenity Prayer. It was written by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1940’s and has been both adopted and embraced by Alcoholics Anonymous. Here it is in its entirety:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Serenity is, or reflects, a state or demonstrated quality of being serene. It is about feeling and being calm, tranquil or peaceful. But why does serenity sometimes seem so elusive? Is it because we do not accept the things we cannot change? Or, is it because we sometimes lack the courage to change these things or the wisdom required to know the difference? Do we really live one day at a time or are we obsessed with the way things once were or fret and worry about how they may come to be? With so many changes and change choices thrust upon us, can we still enjoy one moment at a time? And, if so, do we savors those moments of triumph or peace or serenity? Can we freely accept hardships or accept or challenges, as presented to us, for what they are, not as we would prefer or wish them to be?

Henri Matisse mused, “What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity devoid of troubling or depressing subject matter - a soothing, calming influence on the mind, rather like a good armchair which provides relaxation from physical fatigue.” His painting shown here, The Music Lesson, illustrates this quote ans a bit more. A soothing, calming influence on the mind is what we all need. But, maintaining our inner peace can sometimes be challenging when we seem to be constantly attacked by outside forces and day-to-day distractions.

There’s a line from Donald & Lydia by John Prine that goes, “There were spaces between Donald and whatever he said. Strangers had forced him to live in his head.” If we can find serenity in our heads, that’s a good start. But how many of us aren’t comfortable going there? Bad memories lurk there. Damn voices, too. Sometimes our loved ones are just as guilty as strangers for forcing us to live in our heads. Our heads are already filled with passwords, pin numbers, phone numbers…

There was a poem by Irving Layton (1912 – 2006) called There Were No Signs that I I remembered seeing on a record sleeve of an album I owned. I thought it was on Eric Anderson’s Blue River album but I’m not sure because I’ve looked with no luck.

By walking I found out
Where I was going.

By intensely hating, how to love.
By loving, whom and what to love.

By grieving, how to laugh from the belly.

Out of infirmity, I have built strength.
Out of untruth, truth.

From hypocrisy, I wove directness.

Almost now I know who I am.
Almost I have the boldness to be that man.

Another step And I shall be where I started from.

The last two lines are what have stuck with me all of these years. Almost now I know who I am. Almost I have the boldness to be that man… Just when I seem to think I’ve entered my Personal Stability Zone, the last line pops into my head - Another step and I shall be where I started from – it’s like watching a house of cards collapse. So I’m doomed to begin yet another day or week rebuilding my elusive Personal Stability Zone by again trying to make good conscious decisions and understanding my relationship to my environment (not the environment) and the others that inhabit that same space because I’m not the only one on the planet. I do try to be mindful, polite and courteous as often as I can. But, sometimes the id overtakes the ego and emotion pushes logic out of the way and we just have to let it all out.

I also try to better understand if my ties to physical objects should be or need to be reassessed. Yes, I know I can’t keep everything and, of course I understand that people are more important than things. How many things do each of us need anyway? I’ve mentioned George Carlin’s stuff routine before and it’s still valid here. The most difficult aspect of my personal commitment to continue attempting to carve out a Personal Stability Zone is maintaining some balance in my social interactions.

I don’t need to be reminded that family comes before any personal need, anything or anyone. I also know the difference between family obligations or whether I’m being blackmailed by blood relatives. As for personal growth and learning to learn or widen my horizons to accept meaningful change, I don’t have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is pointless reorganization and change for the sake of change. Or, change for the sake of change.

What is a Personal Stability Zone anyway and why would I need one, or you, for that matter? A Personal Stability Zone is what some have described as our Happy Place. Since this place is personal, it may also be private as well. No two places may be alike but can be. If you’re not happy, does it make the place you’re in not happy, too? Does it also mean that no matter where you go the unhappiness will follow or is it because you brought it with you? Judy Garland belted out these words in Get Happy - Forget your troubles, come on get happy, you better chase all you cares away… Get ready for the judgment day!

We can describe or demonstrate the elements that make us happy or not. And, the zone, where is it or how big is it? Is that where the Happy Place is? Is it just in our head or can is it a real place, or both? Maybe it can be at work or at home or at church or a certain spot at your favorite beach or wherever you feel in control or wherever you feel loved or wherever you feel you belong.

What is stability – why is it so important? Dictionary definitions for stability range from continuity without change or permanence to consistency. The only thing that seems consistently permanent is change. Have you ever traced your old school bus route? You’ll be shocked! Stability is about no sudden or unexpected or unwanted changes! Are gourmet cooking or knitting or mountain climbing or stamp collecting activities that bring us into this zone? Are you considered stable? Well isn’t that a Catch 22 as described in Joseph Heller’s 1961 novel of the same name?

In the book, one of the characters, a bombardier wants to be grounded from combat flight. He can only be grounded if the flight surgeon says he’s unfit to fly. But, here’s the catch, to be unfit would he would have to be willing to fly these dangerous missions. So, he would have to be insane to volunteer to fly. But if he asks to be evaluated, it’s sufficient enough proof to be declared sane and therefore fit to fly. Serenity...

A Pipe That’s Not & Hoodwinking with Cheese to Gain Perspective

PROLOGUE: My Business Engineering blog has evolved into something that allows me to explore my cultural background as represented by food and the customs of the family table, my connections to what I am and where I live and sustainability, survival and culture in general. The exercise of concentrating the blog site’s original focus on how to become a better a "Marketing Engineer" has allowed me to focus on my marketing consulting skills. In the course of my postings, I was able to discover and understand what my original Business Engineering concept was really all about.

The hidden benefit of the marketing oriented blogging became a form of self-analysis. And, as such, I’ve discovered that I could pursue my passions of art, food/wine (sustainability) and marketing all in one blog: In Search of a Personal Stability Zone to explore our collective aspirations. Yes, the idea was inspired by Alvin Toffler’s book Future Shock. The blog’s new direction will hopefully allow me to describe directly what I’ve learned so far in life and, the posting topics will indirectly serve me as a launching point for what I’m currently pondering. The latest posting follows…

NEWEST POST: In the movie Kung Fu Panda, the main character, a panda named Po said to his Kung Fu master that the reason he didn’t quit was, “…because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being me.” Am I suffering a mid-life crisis? No, I don’t think so. So, what’s with the introspection? Maybe it’s that I am older and hopefully a lot wiser. Perhaps Shakespeare said it best in this soliloquy (Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28)…

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Why not merge work and play? Why not let our passion(s) be our guide? Why not do what we love? Because there’s usually no money in it! And, we all need an income. But, what if we could make a living doing what we love doing? If we could, would we strutting and fretting our hour upon this stage?

Marketing teaches us the principle of supply and demand. Is there a demand for a blog about someone’s thoughts and experiences in art, food/wine (sustainability) and marketing? As for my art passion, I’ll explore some of the World’s masterpieces and offer my perspectives on it or, what drawing is really all about and what it takes to develop the skills needed to develop as an artist.

Food and wine? I’ve spent a lot of time cooking for a living and for sheer enjoyment. My heritage has given me a solid culinary tradition with the appurtenant rites, rituals and celebrations. And, a tongue-in-cheek exploration of wine, a joke really, turned into something real interesting. Together, food and wine are, to me, the basis on which to delve into a sustainable life; not lifestyle. Of course, marketing is what I do to pay the bills but it is also the thread that connects these pearls.

These passions are what helped shape my life and I hope I have a steady supply of knowledge, experience and information to provide my readers. So, if I may, here’s my first attempt to tie all of these interests and passions into one neat bundle. ART – I’ll begin with Rene Magritte and his painting: Treachery of Images (La Trahison des Images), shown here. It was painted between 1928 and 1929. Magritte (1898-1967) was a Belgian surrealist artist popularly known for his thought-provoking images, which challenged the observers' preconditioned perceptions of reality.

In this painting, an ordinary object teaches us an invaluable lesson. The script under the image of the pipe - ceci n'est pas une pipe – in English it means this is not a pipe. It seems that the visual, a pipe and the text, this is not a pipe are a contradiction. To quote another famous artist, Pablo Picasso: We all know that art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth. At least the truth that is given us to understand. This painting then, is not a pipe, it is an image; a painting if you will, of a pipe. I don’t think I could have found a better painting to illustrate my three passions. The Treachery of Images represents all art. It is an illusion. It is one individual’s interpretation of a subject or situation. It is more than it represents.

FOOD - Food and wine are two subjects that can also teach us that, they too are not all that they seem. Take French onion soup for example. It has reached a high status. It’s not considered diner fare. Yet, its origins may be found in abject poverty. Why else then would a culture glorify it? Many of our favorite dishes have their roots in poverty, necessity and sustainability. In this area, which is heavily populated by Portuguese, kale soup is an enigma wrapped in a mystery. It graces the average household and reigns as table d’haute in fine Lusitanian (Portuguese) restaurants. It is a soup that can be placed in a variety of recipe categories. It is the Portuguese equivalent of the Italian minestrone soup. It too is a hodgepodge of whatever is available. It represents an Old World culture of: waste not want not and offers us a valuable lesson is sustainability.

WINE - Wine has taught me much as well and I hope to share what I know and what I’ve learned with you. For example, the old wine merchants had a guideline which went as follows: Buy on apples - Sell on cheese. This adage suggests the true simplicity of wine. After all, according to the ancient Romans - in vino veritas – in wine (there is) truth. Buying on apples is from a marketing perspective, common sense. Apples strip a wine to its basic elements. The wine will either withstand the scrutiny of the (acidic properties) apple or it will not. Only those that pass the test are worth purchasing. As for the flipside of the coin; cheese is fatty. Serving it to enhance a so-so wine and entice a buyer who knows no better is not necessarily considered unethical. It is however, a good lesson in caveat emptor, another gift of the Romans which means – let the buyer beware.

I hope I’m off to a good start with this new blogging perspective as I search for my Personal Stability Zone and I hope inspire and assist you to find yours. In a world in constant flux, a place we can carve out in our heads or in our off-hours with significant value that offers a respite from the everyday is where I want to be. I hope to discover and share how we can all be more conscious of our decisions, reduce the stresses caused by the change and over-stimulation in our lives and occupy our homes and control us at work. We need another place, another environment, a zone of stability that allows us to accept or refuse, embrace or resist or, breakaway or run towards the forgotten ties that bind us. We need a place that offers us enduring relationships regardless of the insanity that assaults us every day, a - Personal Stability Zone. As with Shangri-La, it’s there if you look for it. I think it’s worth a shot to set off in search of it.